How do I attach a chrome muffler tip?

I purchased at least three different muffler tips over the course of my Accord ownership. Each time, I would cut the tip to size and adhere it somehow to the car's muffler -- I think I used JB Weld for all my attempts at mating the two. Each time the muffler tip would disappear, anywhere between one week and three months after putting it on.

I know for sure how I lost one of them: during a trip to Vegas, I was piloting the fully-loaded car over a wavy (up-down) road, only to have the muffler every-so-slightly scrape the road during one of the dips. Bye bye muffler tip!

So, what's the best way to adhere the tip to the muffler?

Further complicating the procedure is that the stock muffler tip bends downward, so I need to somehow prop the chrome tip so that it looks correctly on the car (basically have it come out straight, while the internal pipe is bent). Check out the pictures to see what I'm talking about.

Any help is appreciated!