try placing it in some fire. when it burns for about 10-15 minutes then out the fire with some honey and try powering it on with a block of cheese. If that doesn't work power it on with a hammer for 8 seconds then toss if off a cliff, by then it should start working.. working well out of you life, so you can then go purchase a better &&^&^$^ device you stupid @%^$$@$!!